Posted on Saturday, September 13, 2014
You thought the last blog post was a fluke didn't you? No, I'm back...I really really mean it.
So there is a house party that takes place several times during the summer every year in Dix Hills, NY called the Mayor's Party. We've been going to a couple the Mayor's parties each year, and this summer we went to two, the most recent being a couple of weeks ago.
So is this the party for you?
If you are over 40 and overweight, you may have found the perfect fit, because if that is the case, sad to say, the dress you are wearing to his party probably doesn't.
I know, I'm being terrible, but I'm also not one to be politically correct. The truth is the truth. If you enjoy big boned women (I refused to believe BBW means big beautiful women) then this might just be the party for you.
I do feel a tad bad bashing this party. The host after all is a wonderful guy, but this party is in need of a makeover like Gordon Ramsey does for failing restaurants.
I'm fairly sure that once he reads this, as I am sure at some point he will . . . the lifestyle community is a small one, I won't be returning, but then again, I don't think we will be returning anyway, so oh well.
The venue itself is beautiful. There are multiple bedrooms to play in - though you aren't allowed to shut the door . . . tisk tisk if you enjoy privacy - and the backyard is like a resort with tons of seating areas, an in-ground heated pool, and a hot tub. The guy even has a tennis court. All the old timers there rave about how the parties used to be A M A Z I N G. But what they fail to realize is that they were all under thirty five back in those days. The parties were probably like the Hampton's Party is now, with a hundred very attractive couples with no inhibitions. However, ten to fifteen years has not been very kind to the vast majority of these poor souls.
In the past we would attend the party and there would be one or two attractive couples that would wander in and we would enjoy their company for the night . . . wink wink. But these last two parties, this just was not the case. Putting on my science cap and forming a hypothesis, I do believe that what likely happened was the young attractive couples have trickled in, realized the party was not their scene, and have just not returned. The host also makes the mistake of posting a guest list on Swing Life Style (SLS). This of course is a mistake because when you look at the guest list all you see is undesirables (unless you like BBW).
So there you have it. Oh wait, one more thing, almost completely forgot. They do allow single men, though in a limited quantity. So I know a lot of you readers out there are single guys just looking for the right party for you. This actually isn't a bad party if you don't mind the 40+ crowd. The funny thing is, there are some attractive women in their 40s there, but for some perplexing reason, the hotter the women get in their 40s, the more pregnant and atrocious looking their husbands get. So if you are a single male, and that is what they are looking for, do you really care what the husband looks like? Didn't think so.
So now, once again, there you have it. Another fine review by yours truly.
Posted on Saturday, September 06, 2014
I have decided to come out of my long blogging slumber to write a review about a recent party we attended called Sizzle.
Sizzle is a monthly lifestyle meet and greet run by a couple who uses the screen name BucksCountyPA on Swing Life Style (SLS). Their own description is as follows:
"Over 3,600 Local Couples Enjoying the Monthly Free Private M&G Events in New Hope, the Monthly Free Private DJ hosted M&G party attached to a hotel in Princeton, NJ, as well as the on-premises play parties every 2-3 months in Phila at Saints & Sinners!"
We saw the listing for the Princeton, NJ meet and greet on SLS and being the smart devil that I am, I scoured the guest list and messaged each of the attractive couples I saw to inquire whether they were truly attending or just hit yes to the guest list but really weren't committed. We found a few couples that said yes, so we rsvp'd and in anticipation of a night of excess drinking and of course requiring a space to play in, we rented a hotel room.
The meet and greet itself is free and our countless orders of vodka sprite only added up to a $35 tab. The hotel ran us around $100. This was a swingers only party, they checked the guest list at the door, so no worries about the stray vanilla folk working their way in and causing trouble. The age range was fairly wide with couples ranging from early twenties up to those probably receiving their social security checks. Though, there was plenty of young pieces of candy to choose from. New Jersey seems to close their venues at 2 a.m., which is just terrible. Must be a bunch of old fogies running things in that state. However, from 9 a.m. to 2 a.m. there is plenty of time to mingle. The place was packed within fifteen minutes of the doors opening.
Now this shindig was advertised as a dance party, and I really didn't see any place to dance when we walked in, but sure enough, after a couple of ours the loud speakers were set up, a DJ booth formed out of nowhere in one of the corners and people were gyrating the night away and going deaf at the same time. I personally enjoy retaining my hearing and would prefer if the party remained an average one and not a dance one.
In summary, the party was worth attending, so if you are interested do an event search on SLS for Sizzle or look up the couples name to find out when the next parties are.
And of course, for those of you that enjoy the sexy details of what typically happens at these parties...
When we first arrived we walked around the bar area which is a huge square in the center of the venue and where we just so happened to find a space to squeeze in and order a drink I found myself next to a pretty little thing seated at the bar. We will call her Lisa, brunette, white, wearing a black dress. You love my terrible descriptions don't you? I always knew I would be a fine writer. Her husband Jake, white, tall, built, dress shirt and jeans...you know, the usually I'm a white guy going out attire, which I typically sport myself on many occasion, was standing a few feet behind her really just doing nothing but standing there. Both are in their early/mid thirties. So I squeezed in, ordered our drinks and my darling began chatting up Jake. Lisa really was keeping to herself so we ignored her until she got her drink and joined the three of us. Usually chit chat, but even though they were attractive, we were waiting for more finer specimens to arrive, which about an hour into the party they did. One of the three couples we messaged that were the creme de la creme - did I say that right? - of the choices at this party arrived and made their way around the bar towards us.
Awkward moment when him and I made eye contact, did the little head nod in recognition and then Lisa next to me asked if I was into guys. I think she thought our little shared moment was one of those I like sausages type of moments. And to add to it, I completely didn't hear her ask it, so she had to ask it again. Anyhow, we were ready to trade up for some high quality candy, we will call them Kristie and Jamie, so we merged sets as those terrible pickup artists types like to say. Kristie is a pretty brunette, white, thin, also wearing a black dress - if a girl ever wears jeans to one of these things, assume she has her period. He was white, blond hair, t-shirt and jeans, and built like a cover model. To avoid any awkwardness, we pulled another attractive couple, Maurice and Lucy, into the group and now we had our own little party going of late twenties/early thirty somethings. Fast forward, lots of flirting, lots of drinking, some dancing (I hate dancing) and we were down to play. However, this became work. We are used to meeting a couple we like, chatting for thirty minutes, and then going to play doctor. However, Kristie...she was one of those who needs an entire night to get ready which also means drinking about ten gallons of alcohol. Jamie must have asked her around five times throughout the night if she was ready to head back with us to our hotel room and each time she said yes, but didn't budge. I was ready move on to the next most attractive couple in there, but my darling was super into Jamie, so I gritted my teeth and stuck to it.
Finally, last call is announced around 1:30/1:45 a.m. and Kristie is ready to have some fun, though I'm fairly sure sleep would be more enjoyable at this point. But, we head back to the room and this girl still wants to do more shots. Karma will pay a visit later in the night to this one. So the room is an ice box because my girlfriend turned the air on earlier. We all stripped down to our birthday suits and the girls began playing. The girls then switched off and you know, the usual blow job and eating her out occurred and then time for the real fun.
I grab a condom, put it on, and park my car in her garage and then she stops me and says, "you have to ask her permission." Okay, so now I'm thoroughly confused. I have to ask permission of my girlfriend to fuck her? Does she not realize that (1) my cock is already in her, (2) we are swingers, we already worked out our shit before we even came to the party, and (3) seriously? Anyway, I did a whole, "Sweetie, you are fine with me fucking her, right?", and my girlfriend, saying, "of course." So then I go back to the task at hand. I seriously hate stupidity. Maybe she has confetti for brains. Okay, I'm being mean. She likely really doesn't have that much experience in the lifestyle.
So I'm plowing away at this girl like she is a field and it is time to harvest those crops, but she is bitching about how cold it is. So I keep stopping to try to operate the air conditioner and for the life of me I cannot figure out how to shut this stupid thing off. I end up piling towels over the vents to try to stop it. So anyway, back to plowing, while Jamie is doing the same to my girlfriend. So this whole time I have a breeze up my ass because of this air conditioning. Too much information? Stop reading. After a vigorous pace of maybe fifteen minutes I needed to stop for a second and Kristie gets all emotional. Like I stopped because I didn't like her or something. So she slides off the bed and acts all sad. No idea...hate odd female drama, so I pull her back onto the bed, and decide to make sure I cum before she gets any stranger.
I cum, a minute later Jamie cums, my girlfriend is happy, I just want them to leave. It is around 2:30 a.m. now and I am shot. Well, I guess from all the fucking, Kristie wasn't feeling so great, so she got acquainted with John who lives in the restroom. Then my girlfriend hops up off the bed and goes to the other side of the room and shuts off the air conditioner using some wall thermostat that I never saw. I personally think that was really fucked up, but she claims she didn't realize Kristie was bitching and moaning about the cold air the entire time.
Kristie is pretty drunk now...remember I told you Karma would visit. Jamie has to dress her, she doesn't want to leave but he manages to get her out. We do the whole number exchange thing. And off they go. The hotel had a noon checkout and the usual continental breakfast deal, so that was nice before our long drive back to Long Island.
So there you have it, another adventure concluded, and a wonderfully sort of detailed review of the Sizzle parties.
Posted on Sunday, February 16, 2014
Some of you are curious about our personal sex statistics. Either you will be turned on or repulsed by these numbers, but we enjoy what we do and here they are.
Guys She Has Had Sex With: 85
Girls He Has Had Sex With: 132
MFM Threesomes: 3
FMF Threesomes: 16
Last Updated: September 6, 2014
Posted on Sunday, July 07, 2013
Caligula opened up in Queens, NY in the beginning of June 2013. It is an on-premise club in which Friday nights are geared towards couples and single men and Saturday night is for couples only.
The Club Itself
The club is located in Astoria. There is plenty of parking and the club itself is two floors. The first floor has a bar, dance floor, stage, seating and bathrooms. The second floor has playrooms (both private and open) and bathrooms. When we attended there was a person upstairs taking care of the playrooms, which we assume consists of changing sheets, letting couples into private rooms and making sure everything is operating smoothly in the play areas.
Couples should expect to pay between $85 - $100 on Saturday nights and $40 - $60 on Friday nights. Single men should expect to pay approximately $100 on Friday nights.
As with other on-premise clubs, alcohol cannot be sold, therefore it is bring your own booze. The club does provider bartenders to hold your bottle and to mix your drinks.
Considering we went for the grand opening weekend, we were quite disappointed with the crowd. The vast majority of those in attendance were over forty years old. Other than us there were two young attractive couples. One did not swing at all and the other would not play on the first meeting. The two groups who appear to be organizing the parties at this club are VIP Soiree and Roberto's. The problem is that the Roberto's crowd is typically an over 40 crowd and that is the crowd that has appeared to show up on the night we went. We were contacted by the hosts of Caligula to attend another party, but told them we would only attend if we received free admission due to the poor quality of the crowd the first time we went. The hosts would only give us a 50% discount, we declined. If the Swing Life Style (SLS) guest list is any indication, which typically it is, the quality of the crowd has not improved.
Unless the crowd improves, we recommend Taste (Manhattan), the Hamptons Party (Long Island) or any quality, pre-screened house party you can find. If anyone else has attended recently and has found that the crowd has improved, meaning the majority of those in attendance are under forty and attractive, then please feel free to indicate so in the comments section and please include your SLS, Sexxy Mofo or SDC screen name so we can verify the comments. Anonymous postings claiming how wonderful the club is will simply be deleted.