Stories of Idiots: January 2010's Idiot

We come into contact with many different people both online and in person by partaking in this exciting lifestyle. As a result we have had some not so wonderful interactions with certain individuals that we end up calling idiots when all is said and done. We felt that it would be interesting to share with you some of those experiences and hope that some of those reading these posts may learn from the mistakes of others if they themselves are prone to the same follies.

January’s Idiot: Mike via Craig’s List

On January 21st we posted an Ad on Craig’s List seeking someone who owned a “fucking machine” (picture can be found in the ad) for our female half to use. We received several responses but because of logistical reasons or other factors they weren’t viable except for one. Below you will find our exact e-mail exchanges between Mike ( We post his e-mail address so if anyone receives a response from him via Craig’s List they know they can just delete the e-mail. We have posted in Red our thoughts as the interaction develops:

Our Craig’s List Ad:

Female Half of Couple Would Like to Try a Fucking Machine – Age 26 – Nassau County, Long Island

Do you have a fucking machine? If so we are an attractive couple in our mid-twenties whose female half would love to try it out. You can watch of course :-) Contact us if you can make this possible. If you would like to learn a bit more about us before contacting us you can visit us at our blog at nyswingers (dot) net :-)

E-mail Exchange:

The following dialogue ran from January 22nd to today, January 28th.

Mike: Hello. I'm 33yo good looking muscular Latin-Italian bi male. I have a FUCKZALL. You can probably find out about it online, It's a sawzall tool with a attachment to connect a dildo onto it, it's insane. I don't get much chance to use it but would love to try it on you if you are up for it. I would just enjoy using it on someone nothing else has to happen unless you want to. [We are actually very pleased with this message.  We aren't sure why he stated his sexual orientation since it is irrelevant, we just want to have our female half play with the toy and weren't looking for a MFM encounter.  We looked up the type of toy it was and it seemed pretty interesting.  We also didn't mind that he wanted to try it on our female half.]

Us: What kind of dildos does it take? (Brand, Type, etc.) and where are you located? (Town)

Mike: It's the kind that has a hole about the size of a quarter thru it, then the metal part that is the attachment to the sawzall goes inside thru it about 3 -4 inches. I have to dildos that go onto it one thick one a little thinner both about 7". The brand dildo that has the empty inside is doc Johnson. I always used a condom on them and if I were to use it with you I would also put a condom on it. I'm in SW Nassau. [We would never use a toy someone else has already used-even if they claim they always used condoms on it-that is why we were asking what kind of dildo's it takes.  We were planning on buying several sizes that the machine would take and attach them to the machine if this little adventure ever took place]

Us: Are you able to host? [We don't host single guys at our place - though we would single females and couples]

Mike: Yes

Us: Are you available on Friday?

Mike: Yes

Us: Is there a bar by you that you would like to meet at to see if we all feel comfortable with each other before heading back to your place to play with the toy? [We don't want to go straight to someone's house that we don't know because it will make it more uncomfortable and awkward if we want to eject from the situation]

Mike: Yes, there are a few different bars around me. Just tell me what night you want to meet up. Your both going to show up together right? [We have no clue why he is asking us this - of course we would both be showing up together - only thing we can think of is that he is scared there really is no female]

Us: We can meet up this Friday at 9 p.m. if that works for you and yes we would both be showing up together :-)
Mike: Thats perfect.

Us: Okay great :-) Can you send us the name and address of the bar that we will be meeting at and also a picture of you so we can recognize you and your cell phone number so we can contact you in case we are running late, get lost, etc. Our cell number is [Number Removed For Privacy]

Mike: Sonny O's 269 West Merrick rd, Valley Stream. You can't miss it it's on a main road. I'll be wearing a tan muscle shirt and jeans. I don't send out pictures. I get emails directly to my phone instantly so I rather not give out my number and just contact thru email. I'll be there shooting pool so it doesn't matter if you run a little late. [This is when we knew we had an issue.  This is a guy who is using Craig's List to meet females and couples and claims he does NOT send out pictures?  We suppose he has never had any success using Craig's List then if that is the case.  Also, not giving out the phone number is an even bigger no no.  We were almost ready to say forget it right then and there but decided to give it one more shot.]

Us: We can understand why you may not want a picture floating around, even if it is g-rated, but we would still like a contact number so we can get in touch with you. If you want to voice verify just call our number from a restricted number and then give us your cell number - but it shouldn't be too much to give it to two people you will potentially be inviting into your home, one of which you might be using a sex toy on ;-)

Mike: Hi. Yes that will work. Let me know when is a good time when I can call that you both will be able to speak to me. I have to hear a female voice otherwise I will just think it's just another single guy on CL playing games pretending to be something there not just to get there rocks off.

Us: Call at 10 p.m. tonight :-)

Mike: Ok


Guess What? He Never Called. Why originally send us a message, especially for such a specific request if you are full of it?  Now if he does decide to call, say on Thursday or on Friday, we just aren't interested.  If he is that flaky to begin with then why bother.  We aren't going to waste our time going to a bar to meet someone who was too lazy to dial 10 digits into a phone let alone then expect that he is going to drive to a bar.  He has no idea where an encoutner would lead, it could have even potentially led to a MFM if the chemistry was right, so not call was just sad on his part.  It is a good thing we insisted on his number instead of just agreeing to meet him at the bar - it is unlikely he would have showed.  It is nonsense like this why we won't meet single guys one one one outside of lifestyle parties and clubs.  It takes too much energy and this is normally the end result.  Flakes and fakes that waste our time :-(

5 Leave a Comment:

Anonymous said...

So maybe someone he knew died at 9pm or something else just as tragic happened, who knows? And you go calling him an idiot? And paste his email about in such a disrespectful way?. I somehow don't think he's the IDIOT here.

Slevin said...

Haha, idiot of the month. We might need to start that tradition on our blog as well. There is always some interesting piece of a profile, or email that someone has sent that just baffles us.

J said...

Anonymous: Maybe someone he knew did die at 9 p.m. or some other tragedy befell him, but we highly doubt it. The reason we called him an idiot is explained fairly well above, but since you didn't get it the first time perhaps we should reiterate - He responded to OUR posting and wasn't willing to provide us with a photo or his phone number after we did BOTH. That is why he is an idiot. The fact that he didn't call after he said he was or e-mail or even call on the following day just reinforces our belief in his idiocy.

In addition, he was the one who was disrespectful by wasting our time – this is our response. If you have an issue about the way we go about things here, there is a little red X in the top right hand corner of this window for people just like you to click.

Anonymous said...

He may well be an idiot, but I think not. He was in retrospect, very wise to steer clear of both of you disrespectful people. Perhaps he should post your phone number? And call you losers whilst he's at it. Little red x? consider it done.

J said...

lol, let him. That is the benefit of using a pre-paid phone with its own number for our lifestyle activities - easily replaceable ;-) Best wishes to you Anonymous on your journey through this world - it would perhaps be an easier one if you weren't so easily offended.

Post a Comment

Comments are not for advertising links to goods or services. Spam will be removed.