Top 5 Instant Message Fuckups by Single Guys

Generally speaking we keep our Instant Message (IM) feature turned off on the Lifestyle Services we are a member of. We do this to prevent the hordes of truly idiotic Single Guys, Couples, and Fakes from wasting our time with pointless conversations. However, every so often we will turn it on or go into a chat room and allow those that are interested in us to send us a message that may lead to a conversation which in turn may lead to something a little more enjoyable for everyone involved :-)

Below is our list of some of the most incompetent behaviors we have seen from those Single Guys that message us. And be forewarned, especially in the case of Single Guys, that if you decide to message a couple and botch it up, there is not likely going to be a second chance.

1. They Never Read Our Profile. We clearly state we only meet Single Guys at lifestyle parties or clubs and it generally becomes very obvious when a Single Guy has not read our profile when he starts to ask us if we would like to meet him for dinner or drinks. We find it very disrespectful for someone to waste our time by not showing us the courtesy of reading our profile first to determine if (1) we are actually a couple that they find interesting and would want to meet, and (2) they meet all of our criteria for what we are looking for.

2. They Already Spoke With Us Through IM or E-mail and Don’t Remember Doing So. This is just truly amazing to us. We keep notes of each person we talked to and our impressions of them using the notes feature most of these lifestyle services provide. This allows us to quickly recall who the person is that is messaging us and what our original impressions were of the person. Sometimes a Single Guy may actually make a pretty good first impression but then they go ahead and IM us at a later date as though they never spoke to us before, which is a complete and total turn off.

3. They Message Us About How Hot Our Female Half Is & How They Would Like To Play With Her. Yes, we know, our female half is very attractive and has a wonderful body. But she is also a wonderful person with feelings and likes to feel respected. She isn’t just a fuck doll to be used by anyone that just so happens can get an erection just by looking at her. If that was the case, about 3 billion guys would have smiles on their faces right now. We play with other couples, single guys, and single girls for BOTH of our enjoyment, not just yours, and if that is what matters most and only to you, then that will be obvious by the way you conduct yourself and we will pass.

4. They Start By Telling Us They Are a Stud Or Are Very Hung. Being hung is a wonderful physical attribute. But if that is all you are and nothing more, then you are wasting everyone’s time. These are guys that think girls think like guys. News Flash: They Don’t. Just the sight of a hung cock generally doesn’t get a woman flowing like Niagara Falls-but when you explain this to these individuals, basically in simple terms conveying that being hung is nice and all, but what else do you have to offer-they generally got nothing. In the end it is a waste of a perfectly good cock.

5. They Don’t Move The Conversation Along. There are a bazillion Single Guys on these services that would just love the chance to sleep with the female half of a couple. Because of this fact, couples have tons of choice when it comes to Single Guys. We don’t even have to message them at all since we have tons of them every day trying to contact us telling us how wonderful we are and how wonderful they are and how they would like to get together. So if you are going to send us a message, please say something. It is as if most of these silly guys think that we are going to do all the work – or that by simply sending us a message our female half is going to magically appear in front of them, straddle them and give them the fuck of their life. Just not going to happen. You get what you put in.

1 Leave a Comment:

The Duchess said...

I should have mentioned #5 in my own post. I hate having to carry the team. Please for the love of the goddess- give me SOMEthing to work with. An open ended comment. A question. Something.
I abhor laziness.

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