Single Guy’s Guide: Messaging Couples 101

We are inundated with messages from Single Men daily but of those countless messages we receive we do not even bother to respond to the vast majority.  Hopefully this Guide will be of benefit to our Single Male readers and improve the response rate they see from Couples.

The Basic Premise of Messaging Couples

When messaging a Couple your ultimate goal is to make yourself stand out from the countless Single Men who have and will be messaging the that couple AND when messaging the Couple you want to exude three characteristics:

(1) Confidence
(2) Respect, AND
(3) Effort

Did You Read the Couples Profile?

This is one of the biggest mistakes a Single Male will make. We understand that you are in this lifestyle because you want to have sex and as a Single Male you are primarily concerned with the attractiveness of the female half of the couple whose profile you are looking at. However, the Couple took the time to write a profile or ad for a reason and that is to weed out those Single Men they have no interest in. So scroll down past the pictures and actually take the time to read a Couple’s ENTIRE profile.

Do You Meet the Couples Requirements?

This obviously cannot be answered if you have not read the Couple’s profile. Different Couples have different requirements. Some have cock size requirements, physique requirements, ethnicity requirements, logistics requirements, age requirements, etc. Read these carefully and DO NOT waste your time messaging a couple if you do not meet their criteria.

I Have Nothing to Lose By Messaging a Couple Regardless if I Meet Their Requirements, Right?

WRONG. Many Couples simply do not want to be bothered with Single Men because Single Men have a terrible reputation of being disrespectful and pushy. If a Couple wants men only under 35 and you are 45 and send them a message you are only giving support to the belief held by many that Single Men lack respect for a Couple’s wishes. In the end you are only making Couples not want to deal with Single Men.

Using Canned Messages

You have read the Couple’s profile and requirements and you are exactly what they are looking for. Great! Now it is time to send the couple a message.

The vast majority of messages we receive from Single Men are what is called a “Canned” message. This is a scripted message that they use on EVERY Couple they message.

Canned messages are very easily recognized because there is absolutely no call back of information from the Couple’s profile. We understand that if a Single Male is very active on lifestyle services he will be sending out messages very frequently and writing a completely customized message can be very time consuming and inefficient, however there is a happy medium that most Single Guys do not appear to utilize.

We recommend having a basic template to message couples (a canned message), but have a couple of lines within the template that allow you to insert information learned from the Couple’s profile to let the Couple know that you did read their profile and genuinely would like to get to know them better. There is where you are demonstrating an EFFORT in getting to know the Couple.

Content of the Message

We recommend that your first message have actual content but stay clear of sexualized content. In addition, avoid sending simple messages such as:

Compliments: “You’re so Sexy”

Meeting Propositions: “Lets meet, let me know if you are interested."

Greetings: “Hey, what’s up?"

If the above is the sole content of your message, you are wasting your time. You are telling the Couple you have absolutely no personality and are doing absolutely nothing to make yourself stand out from the countless other Single Men messaging this Couple. This too falls under the concept of putting in an EFFORT to not only get to know the couple better but to entice them to respond to you.

Tell the Couple a little about yourself. By the end of the message the couple should know your first name, know the city/town where you live, a brief understanding of your prior experience with couples, and any information relevant to the Couple’s criteria/requirements (height, ethnicity, age, etc.). By letting the Couple know you meet their requirements you are showing them that you RESPECT and Understood their preferences. If you message a Couple and do not specify the specifics of meeting their criteria it is unlikely they will want to waste their time messaging you to find out.

Lastly, leave out ALL negative or value decreasing statements from your message. Your message should convey that you are a CONFIDENT and positive individual and should not give the impression that you are begging for a response or that you do not seem worthy of the Couple’s attention. In addition, do not attempt to try to self promote yourself to such a degree that it comes off as being contrived. Your message should make you appear CONFIDENT, NOT try-hard or pathetic – as though you haven’t been laid in the last few years.

Attach a Photo to Your Message

Your message (whether it be via online service or e-mail) should have a clear G-Rated Picture of yourself that clearly shows your face. Do not attach a photo of your cock unless it was requested. DO NOT tell the Couple that you can send them face pictures if they are interested. While the content of your message may be helpful, if the Couple does not know what you look like they are not likely going to be “interested.” Attraction is important and it makes it much more awkward for a Couple to have to say “No Thank You” after they have already opened up a dialogue by requesting your face pictures. Just lay your cards out on the table to begin with.

Move On

Once you have sent your message assume it was a rejection. Do not continue to message the Couple or check their profile or check your mail to see if they returned your message. There are so many Couples and Single Women available in your area that you should never get hung up on any one Couple. You NEVER want to give a Couple the impression you are needy and the quickest way of doing that is by actually being needy.

If You Receive A Message of Interest Back

Your goal is to get from messaging to in-person as soon as possible without coming off as pushy. Every Couple’s pace is different and some Couples will want to spend a significant amount of time “Getting to Know You” online before ever meeting you, but generally speaking it is very hard to keep sexual tension through an extended courtship over internet communication.

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2 Leave a Comment:

Hubman said...

I think these suggestions are great for anyone contacting a couple, not just single men. We get messages similar to your examples of bad messages all the time. Single men, single women AND couples should pay attention to your advice!

J said...

Thats true, but Couples make additional mistakes that the Single Males aren't as likely to make such as asking to meet for drinks the night of in the first message, if photos are included they only show the female and not the male, and when either in the message or on their profile their age is so obviously not the age they list. Because of these and a couple of other common issues we decided just to write a seperate Guide for Couples :-)

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