Couple’s Guide to Swinging: Playing with NEW Couples

For the experienced Couple, every now and then you will come across a Couple whether online or at a party that is either completely new to the lifestyle or at the stage where they have barely gotten their toes wet if at all. The chemistry may be great and you definitely want to play with them, but often times playing with a Couple new to the lifestyle does not go according to plan. Below are some guidelines and tips in dealing with New Couples organized into Beginning, Middle, and End.

Beginning (First Interactions with the New Couple)

(1) Many New Couples attending an on-premise party are looking to play with a Single Female, NOT a Couple. This becomes an issue when they tell you they are willing to play with you but once you engage in play they try to maneuver their way into a quasi threesome with the female half of your Couple while excluding the Male Half. For instance the Male of the other Couple will try to fuck your Female Half but it won’t be reciprocated if the Male Half of your Couple tries to fuck the Female Half of the other couple.

(2) Most New Couples will attend an on-premise party with the agreement that they will not play with anyone. However, there is a very good chance that if they are willing to get naked at any point in the night that they will at least engage in a soft swap.

(3) Most New Couples will not yet have had an HIV/STD test done.

(4) If you ask the New Couple what they are looking for or into and they respond with a vague answer which seems to indicate they will go with the flow or are open to anything, there is a good chance they aren’t actually open to anything, haven’t really discussed it in detail enough with each other (hence the vague response) and one or both of them are likely to back out sometime during play.

Middle (Sexual Play Has Begun)

(5) Unless the New Couple CLEARLY STATES they do not want to go past a certain point, DO NOT ask permission to escalate sexually with them. For instance, if you are the Male Half of the Couple, do not first ask the Female Half of the other Couple if you can go down on her, just do it. While most Couples will have discussed certain boundaries in private, they are putting themselves in this environment because they want to experience the excitement of swinging and most really hope they will go past the boundaries they agreed on with themselves. If you first ask permission you are putting a burden on them to make a decision where they just want to have fun and for things to happen naturally. Asking permission takes away the natural flow of the physical escalation.  If one or both members of the New Couple have an issue with how things are escalating they will let it be known to you. Just make sure you are paying attention to physical and verbal indications for you to stop escalating.

(6) Most New Couples once they begin playing will have mini-conferences with each other to evaluate whether they want to go further than they planned. DO NOT interrupt them and do not excuse yourself thinking that they no longer want to play. They just need a moment to themselves to decide what is the right decision for them.
(7) ALWAYS respect the New Couples decisions. If you ask them to go further (oral sex, full swap, etc.) and they decline, don’t try to bring it up again a few minutes later. Being aggressive will be a major turn off and this new adventure is already scary and stressful enough for the New Couple.

(8) Since this is a new experience for the New Couple, you MUST gauge the emotional reactions of the Couple. Emotions can come on unexpectedly and jealousy can cause violence from either the Male or Female half of the New Couple so just be aware of their emotional state and if either members of the Couple start to look extremely uncomfortable it might be wise to slow down or end play.

End (Play Has Finished)

(9) When you are done playing and exchange contact information do NOT expect the New Couple to be the ones to contact you. If you are still interested in exploring things further with them, then e-mail them or call them up. Chances are they may be embarrassed or just nervous about contacting you.

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