Ask Us Anything: Are There Any Vanilla Bars or Lounges That Attract Lifestyle Couples?

Question: Hi There! We're wondering if there are vanilla bars or lounges in the city that attract lifestyle couples on their "nights off." We are not quite ready to swing but enjoy meeting couples in the lifestyle and learning from them. Plus we like the frank a [rest of the question was cut off]

Him: We are not aware of any Vanilla (non-swinger) Bars or Lounges in NYC that attract lifestyle couples on their “nights off.” We doubt there even are any. Think about this logically. If you are interested in meeting people in the lifestyle, why would you go to a non-lifestyle venue? Go to an Off-Premise Lifestyle Venue (Where there is no sexual play allowed) and meet couples there. Those venues are the exact same thing as a bar, except filled with swingers ;-)

Remember, whether you go to an Off-Premise Venue or an On-Premise Venue – YOU NEVER HAVE TO DO ANYTHING SEXUAL. That is how you get your feet wet and meet people in the lifestyle. If you went to a Vanilla Venue that was a mixed crowd of swingers and vanilla couples – how would you even differentiate between them? Hope someone approached you? Not likely that would happen. Approach them? After the first awkward look and comment of “what are you talking about?” – that would probably nix that idea. Just take the baby step, go to a Lifestyle Venue and when you introduce yourselves to Couples just tell them right off the bat that you are new to the Lifestyle and if they ask you at any point to play you say you are not at that stage yet.

Remember: You can ask us any questions you like anonymously via the form under "Ask Us Anything" on the right hand side of this page ;-)

1 Leave a Comment:

frustrateddeviant said...

J's spot on. Talk to your partner. If you are not at the point where you want to play, then set as a ground rule that you are only there to observe. It describes our first experience out.

=Josh

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