Ask Us Anything: Do You Enjoy Being Watched While Having Sex at Clubs & Parties?

Question: Does it bother you when people go to parties or swing clubs just to watch? Do you enjoy being watched?

Him: It doesn't bother me when people go to parties or lifestyle clubs and just watch. Not everyone at a lifestyle event is into the same thing or at the same stage.

When we first started out all we did was watch. That eventually progressed into just playing with each other in front of others and now we are full swap and play with other couples and singles in front of other people and in private.

What bothers us is when people watch and make negative comments. Not everyone that swings is attractive or in shape. To overhear a couple make judgmental comments as though they are watching a porno in the privacy of their own home, but, in this context, the people playing can hear, that is just horrible to us and has no place in the lifestyle.

In addition, we always respect the wishes of those we are playing with. If we are playing with a couple that does not like to be watched then we try to play in private with them. We've found that a significant number of couples do not like others watching them play...for us we are more indifferent.

Her: For the most part it doesn’t bother me when people are just watching. The only time it bothers me when people go to swing clubs or parties to only watch is when it seems like they are just there to make fun of it or are just disrespectful and too immature to handle the situation.

One experience we had where we felt bothered by a couple that was juts into watching was at one of the Hampton’s parties. We saw an attractive couple that we might have been interested in so I introduced myself first because they seemed pretty quiet and kept to themselves. It was kind of like pulling teeth talking to them and the girl didn’t really talk at all and she would look at the guy for answers. Then my boyfriend came over and we tried to talk to them a little more. Apparently they were only into watching and they were basically putting down the whole swinging scene and seemed ashamed to even be involved, like they really did not want to be associated with swinging at all. That was a very big turn off to us and we felt like they were insulting all the people that were there that consider themselves swingers. It is behavior like that which bothers us.

Other than that I think it is perfectly fine just to watch as long as you are not there to make fun of what other people are doing. I enjoy being watched too. It is really exciting to be able to turn people on that way and it turns me on too. When we first started getting into the lifestyle we spent a lot of time watching and just playing in front of other people, it was a real rush.

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